The etiquette and dangers of signing off emails
An article in The New York Times this weekend draws attention 
to the importance and dangers of how you sign off your emails.
One entrepreneur tells the story of a deal gone bad and of deteriorating email signatures:
As negotiations started to break down, the sign-offs started to get decidedly shorter and cooler,†Mr. Troutwine recalled. “In the beginning it was like, ‘I look forward to speaking with you soon’ and ‘Warmest regards,’ and by the end it was just ‘Best.’
The article suggests that the more fluid medium of email makes senders and recipients equally unsure how to read the signs. At sign-off that becomes crucial:
Those final few words above your name are where relationships and hierarchies are established, and where what is written in the body of the message can be clarified or undermined.
One danger is that people will always interpret what you write differently. The entrepreneur above thought “Best” a brush-off. On the other hand:
I use ‘Best’ for all of my professional e-mails,†said Kelly Brady, a perky publicist in New York. “It’s friendly, quick and to the point.â€
(Aren’t stereotypes great?)
It’s possible to spend a lot of time thinking about this:
Because people read so much into a sign-off, said Richard Kirshenbaum, chief creative officer of the advertising firm Kirshenbaum Bond & Partners, he has thought deeply about his preferred closing to professional correspondence, “Warmly, RK.†He did not want something too emotional, like “Love,†or too formal, like “Sincerely.†“ ‘Warmly’ fell comfortably in between,†he said. “I want to convey a sense of warmth and passion, but also be appropriate.â€
Or, like me, to spend too little. Knowing how fast I am going myself to get through my inbox, I tend not to read too much into a brief sign-off from someone else. No doubt, I am missing all the important signs.
Like all things email-etiquette related, balance seems the best target.
The one with the carefully-crafted and appropriate words can close the deal / get the job done / comfort the sobbing student / palm off the essay marking to some gullible sucker / [insert your own professionally-appropriate career goal here]. But the one who spends too much time thinking about it or over-interpreting email sign-offs gets nothing done.
Whatever you decide, you can’t dodge the issue by chosing nothing:
Many e-mail users don’t bother with a sign-off, and Letitia Baldridge, the manners expert, finds that annoying. “It’s so abrupt,†she said, “and it’s very unfriendly. We need grace in our lives, and I’m not talking about heavenly grace. I’m talking about human grace. We should try and be warm and friendly.â€
The punchline belongs to Ms Mitchell who believes, among other things, that “good corporate governance is simply good manners”:
“While on the one hand e-mail encourages people to write, on the other hand it discourages people to write thoughtfully.”
[Much more on email etiquette in previous Hawk Wings posts.]
Tags: Email in general, etiquette, manners, not apple mailRelated posts
November 29th, 2006 at 12:08 am
We in the office, when writing in French, often have to consult the books – and I mean literally. In French, men, women, professionals, notabilities in every single religion, etc… deserve and expect a different formula. It’s great fun – and it shows you care – but wars have been started by a “distinguished consideration” instead of a “respectful homage”.
- FJ
November 29th, 2006 at 12:14 am
I have two parts of my sign off.
1) In the last sentence, by itself, on its own line, I try to summarize what I am looking for in the email. So, if it is something I need or want to hear back on “Looking forward to hearing from you.” or if it is a sign off “I appreciate all your help.” to customer service “Let us know if there is anything else we can do.”
2) The second part is always the same. “Thanks, BZ” (with a new line of course) and usually just the website name and url.
If I am too pissed to write “Thanks” I re-think why I am sending the email at all.
BZ
November 29th, 2006 at 2:42 am
I just noticed that your blog postings hover in timeless cyberspace. Would you consider adding the date the posting was made to your blog? Having read some previous postings, I noticed that a link or two was dead in the post. I was left wondering if the post was made yesterday or six years ago. Thanks.
November 29th, 2006 at 7:32 am
Twice now I have run into a strange problem sending emails from Mail.app to PC users. In the first case, my recipient saw nothing when I replied to her. In the second the font displayed on the PC was a Greek font, but not consistently. I took a thread of 6 or so emails and puzzled responses from my correspondent and opened it on a PC. The first message used a Greek font and the rest was normal, in both directions. However on his PC, he only saw Greek or as he thought Russian from me.
Anybody else run into a similar problem or have an idea how to fix it?
November 29th, 2006 at 7:59 am
Typically when I’m requesting something from someone else I use ‘Thanks’ as my sign off, or something like the more formal “I look forward to hearing from you”.
When I started emailing a lot more with lawyers this year I switched to mostly using ‘Regards’ on professional emails - every formal email I received from a couple of law firms we were dealign with was signed off ‘Regards’ or ‘Kind regards’.
November 29th, 2006 at 8:55 am
@Mark — Every post is dated in the “metadata” section underneath each post. That’s where WordPress puts it by default. If you can remember where the dead links are, I’d be glad to fix them up/delete them.
November 30th, 2006 at 3:44 am
Its kind of funny, Before e-mail took off, the business world had several types of written communication i.e. letter, memo, quick note. Depending on what is being written would determine the level of formality. At first e-mail was just another choice but now its quickly replacing all the other types without offering the scale. A new labeling system needs to be implemented along with the subject line and we human beings need to be reschooled in manners and etiquette
Wishing all the best in the coming holiday season
Ian
November 30th, 2006 at 10:55 am
I was a little worried not to see my preferred “Cheers” mentioned in the story. I like it because it goes nicely with our business name, which has the word Smile in it. But is it dorky? Too much associated with alcohol?
“Best” seems to beg the question “Best what?” so that’s why I don’t use that.
November 30th, 2006 at 10:59 am
Jean, Cheers is my habitual closing too. Perhaps it is considered “too English” or quaint.
December 1st, 2006 at 1:40 am
If Fred hands you a screwdriver, you say “Thanks, Fred.” I think ending an email “Thanks, Jim” makes it sound like I’m thanking myself (if I’m Jim). I’m always annoyed by this when someone ends their email like that.
I think that email has its own etiquette separate from traditional letters, memos, etc. and that it’s silly to try to shoehorn behaviors from days gone by into this new communication medium.
Further, I think email and instant messenging are evolving into one another (you can send attachments in IMs, you can be notified almost instantly of incoming email, easily start a chat with someone who sent you an email if they’re online, etc.).
In an online chat, you wouldn’t end each line with “Sincerely, Jim”, so why would you need to in an email exchange? Doing so in emails just clutters up the “conversation”, especially if there are a lot of “replys” and “forwards”.
Years ago, the only way you could tell who sent the letter was by the closing, but this isn’t necessary for emails - your email client keeps track of this for you. I propose we get rid of the sign-offs altogether.